Dear spas and salons offering special "deals"...

[This was originally posted in my other blog that I don't like very much, Dear You,.  Dear You, was supposed to serve as a place for open letters to society, fictional characters, history, ephemeral ideas, whatever and whomever I felt the need to write to.  Not giving it enough time and focus, it unfortunately became a rant blog.  Some of my entries are still in keeping with my ideas of what this blog is, so I'll repost them here.  I'll never edit, allowing the original intent to remain unspoiled. 

This note was published in September of 2012, and was the start of Dear You,.]



Whether you are offering your different prices as "sales", "specials", "limited time offers", or Groupons / Living Socials / other deal-of-the-day options, I'm talking to you. I love a lot of your services. I'm a huge fan of the occasional pamper, and I'd never say no to a well done massage. I would make pilgrimages to your wonderful stress free oases regularly if I could afford to.

That said, please start offering deals that are useful! I'm sure lots of people take you up on your special deal on a very specific and potentially dangerous new fad hair treatment. I know you "sell out" of your sales on a hot stone- aromatherapeutic-couples-teaching-(insert yogic term here) massage treatment. Obviously, it is a good business model for you. But just once, could you please offer x% off any treatment? Or, Buy one treatment get another free? I would kill to be able to afford a simple 60 or 90 minute swedish massage, a haircut, and a brow wax. Simple, basic, and no less relaxing than your specialty item that you can't get anyone to book.

Please, offer a basic sale. I would love to give you my money.

From,

Me

Don't put [me] down...

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking about equality and the female experience in a male driven world.

Yeah, me, and the rest of the internet liberal 20 somethings, I know.

But really, I've been doing some work that I hadn't been brave enough till now to inch towards, let alone actually engage in.  Looking at past decisions and situations and how I've stored them within myself and evaluating how I carry them with me has been a terrible, awful, no good, very bad monster lurking in my closet or under my bed or whatever other place monsters hide. Except in creepy wardrobes like that kid in "Night Terrors" who stores the real-to-him monsters he imagines and turns into dolls and then Amy's a doll and oh god creepy and everything is made of wood and the sonic screwdriver doesn't work on wood and yes, this kind of distracted thinking is why I've been able to avoid true self evaluation. But I'm doing it now.  And it's been hard, and will continue to be hard.  I'm finally putting a name to those "bad things" and finally processing.  I'm beginning to be able to understand what's triggering my anxiety, and how to work through it or around it. I'm starting to feel enough self-worth to be able to say "that's not okay."  I don't think I'd ever been able to say it before.

Part of what's helping is this wonderful facebook group that a friend of mine put together.  We post and comment on articles and other web based goodness about gender studies.  I haven't been saying a lot on the group wall, but I've read every single piece posted, and even found a youtuber that I'm now totally obsessed with.  I'm not a huge poster there, and I don't mean to become just a reposter here, even if my last few entries have been reposts. But, I really like this piece I want to talk about a little.

This is just another opinion piece in another blog on another popular blog service site.  But, I really liked what it had to say.  Yes, there are tons of people making the same point. And there are internet memes out there making fun of the Disney Princess dysfunctionality and everything it teaches young girls.  Sometimes, the "humour" of the ones listing "stockholm's syndrome", "compulsive lying", "necrophilia", etc. are so disarming when you look at it all at once like that, it's hard to really evaluate the concepts those posts are trying to bring to light. And of course, few articles talking about what we loved as children being "bad" actually point out that many of those stories aren't original, but come from the folk tales of fill in the blank cultural group.  But our society loves them so, and they really do inform our lives and basis for reality. 

I don't know how anyone, parent or otherwise, sitting down and telling me "you know this movie is make-believe, right?" would have changed my life.  I'm not sure that stubborn child me would have wanted to hear "it's okay to love something and still know it's not right in real life".  I'll never know, I can only guess.  But how wonderful would it be if that was the new norm?  If parents could articulate, "this is a great story with big problems if it were to really happen to you." The closest I think I've ever heard was "she's not a good role model for little girls. You can be more."  That's certainly the wrong message, isn't it?  It's not "she's not good enough" that worries me. It's "what she goes through is okay". It's "it's okay that society treats her like this and no one stops it". It's "there's nothing wrong with this". Granted, we hide it within magic carpets, witches, and extreme circumstance, but it's all still there.

It's a little scary to realize how hard wired this all is...

This universe just leaves me cold...

Earlier today, I posted an article with very little comment, because it made me so angry, I couldn't find my words. Firing a person in the arts due to their choice of production 8 months after it was approved clearly reeks of the "one angry patron/donor" situation, and that shit drives me crazy.  I was wordless because I felt like my words had already been said in so many ways, and don't feel constructive when they're laced with anger.

And then I read this article. (Warning- keep reading before clicking through.)

I find myself wordless again. I have so much frustration, sadness, and disgust, that I'm out of words.  I'm embarrassed to be among this version of humanity.  Of course, this article is really a shock article, designed to get a reaction from the audience, not really to share news.  If I did research, I'm sure I'd find a correlation between other shootings and the trend discussed in the article. Or the holidays being relevant. Or SAD playing a part.  Or half the people involved "had it coming".  Or something.  I'm sure that if I looked at the other side, I'm just a stupid liberal being sad.

But really, folks.  It doesn't matter what time of year it is, what holidays you do or do not celebrate, or what kind of day you had.  A lot of my friends are being "clever" on facebook and other social media and saying the world did end yesterday, and things are already so bad that we didn't notice it.  How is that being funny?  What if it's coming true? Stop hurting each other.  Stop creating a world that is so awful that our only commonality is disagreement. Stop turning this experience into a nightmare.

Please?

Omigod, really?

This teacher was fired in Ohio for producing a high school production of "Legally Blonde, The Musical" due to content and staging....

The school had produced "Grease" recently as well.

Which show's message would you rather teach?  Rising above to find your true self, or conformity brings happiness?

One short [year] in the emerald city...

So, every year for a while now, pantone tells us what the color of the year is. Most times, I mock it.  If you were to google "pantone color of the year" right now, links would fill the left side of your screen, and a big block of 2012's "Tangerine Tango" will pop up on the right.  And it certainly does pop! But this coming year, the new color of the moment is.... emerald!  It's the first green in this series of "colors of the year"(which as far as I can tell started in 2000), and near to my favorite shade of the stuff! 

Maybe now it won't be so hard to find things I want in not lime green or hunter...

How much better could this be in a pure jewel tone, or kelly green?

For more about why emerald is awesome, click for the short attention span Washington post write up (with a pretty cool dress featured), or the pantone official version.

And now, links to some of my favorite green things that exist on the internet, but are never around when I go looking for them in person. Because the photo option won't work on this computer, for whatever reason...

Sparkly shoes

Velvet shoes!

Corduroy jacket

I'm sure it will be a year of being frustrated by the series of options out there, as usual.  I'll probably still see plenty of "uuugggh, why did they combine it with THAT color?".  But knowing that there will even be any more emerald out there makes me incredibly happy.

There's an app for that!

I totally forgot that there's a Blogger app. Expect much more new and interesting (I hope!) content to come!

I'm also thinking of borrowing a formatting thing from a friend and having different themes I write on on different days. In her case, she does things like Wordless Wednesday and Mixed Drink Monday. If I do this format, I'd also dissolve my other blog, Dear You, and repost the decent entries here. Thoughts? Themes you'd like to see?

The goal is to hybridize personal diary, thoughts on theatre & performance, and rants/raves about pop culture, for the most part. So, for those who know me offline, a lot like a long conversation with me on a normal day.

Today, our dream can become a reality.

Okay, I'm really restarting this. Today.  Look for more later!

Horoscope-

There's no such thing as a mundane responsibility when it comes to work right now. Each task you've been put in charge of is an opportunity to show the people in power that you are able and ready to take on bigger and better assignments- so don't think of your duties as boring items to cross off your to-do list. Act with confidence and gusto today, and don't speak disparagingly about what's on your plate right now.

What's next-

Go to work, spend 8 hours doing three things:

• Find supporting materials saying that stuff used to be bad but we understand how to be better,
• Comparing and contrasting 2 systems truthfully while understanding that one answer is "supposed" to be better than the other,
• and brainstorming "things I wish I had" as a topic for a meeting.

Come home, spend time:

• Cleaning the apartment- I'm sure there's a floor under here!
• Creating blog content
• Starting to actually put together a life that is supposed to start on July 27 or August 9 (more on that later)
• Start and maybe finish a custom order painting.

What I'd rather be doing:

• Starting my life again, not sitting in a holding pattern
• Reading
• Taking a 6 hour walk
• Packing

What I haven't written about in the last few months, but will be soon:

• Theatre
• Weight loss
• Start up businesses / being "self-employed"
• Putting together the pieces
• Weddings!
• Transformation of self

Are you ready? I'm so ready.

Let's do this.

Today, it must be bunnies!

Congratulations on being the creator of a new Evil Plan (tm)!

Your objective is simple: world domination.
Your motive is a little bit more complex: evil - it's my nature

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first seduce a famous actor/actress. This will cause the world to give one another worried looks, alarmed by your arrival. Who is this Evil Genius? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in a Corporate Suit?

Stage Two

Next, you must seize control of New York. This will all be done from a floating Fortress, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will tremble, as countless hordes of winged monkeys hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, you must tauntingly wave your time machine, bringing about an End to Sanity. Your name shall become synonymous with fuzzy bunnies, and no man will ever again dare cross you. Everyone will bow before your Extraordinary Charisma, and the world will have no choice but to fall madly in love with you.


Fabulous fun from www.darksites.com/evilplan.php

Today, I've got an itch to scratch

 Horoscope:

Even if novels aren't quite your cup of tea, flipping through some books on the bestseller shelf or looking through a short story collection could give you a brand new idea about how to handle a real life problem. There is a lot of inspiration in creative expressions, especially those that encapsulate one special idea and convey it in a way you have never considered before. Often, mysterious feelings can be better understood if you can see them from a more dramatic point of view.


From Wikipedia:

Celery is among a small group of foods (headed by peanuts) that appear to provoke the most severe allergic reactions; for people with celery allergy, exposure can cause potentially fatal anaphylactic shock.^[17] The allergen does not appear to be destroyed at cooking temperatures. Celery root—commonly eaten as celeriac, or put into drinks—is known to contain more allergen than the stalk. Seeds contain the highest levels of allergen content. Exercise-induced anaphylaxis may be exacerbated. An allergic reaction also may be triggered by eating foods that have been processed with machines that have previously processed celery, making avoiding such foods difficult. In contrast with peanut allergy being most prevalent in the US, celery allergy is most prevalent in Central Europe.^[18] In the European Union, foods that contain or may contain celery, even in trace amounts, must be clearly marked as such.

From Livestrong.com:

Along with allergies to peanuts, celery allergies affect Americans more frequently than adverse reactions to other foods. Some people only have problems with celery at certain times of the year. This type of allergic reaction is due to cross-reactivity to birch trees or wormwood plants, which share a particular cell structure with celery. Oral syndromes occur most often during birch or wormwood pollination seasons. Other patients may experience allergy symptoms from eating cooked or uncooked celery anytime. Consequences range from simple itching to life-threatening metabolic collapse.

Luckily, seems that I have the seasonal mouth itching kind, instead of the dead kind.  Realizing this made breakfast weird, though.

Thoughts:


Yesterday went pretty much to plan.  Great work day until weird (and time consumptive) tour, great dress pick up, and surprisingly great meeting.  There was some talking after it that lead to a bit of meh, but I did manage to get dinner accomplished.  Didn't get my 10000 steps in, but today will make up for it.

Odd moment:

So yesterday, I was extra surprisingly good, and did call a person to try to make a first appointment.  I called right before "business hours" started, thinking I'd leave voicemail and she'd call me back at her convenience.  She answered, I told her why I was calling, and she asked me to call her right back to leave voicemail, as she didn't actually have time to talk.  Her actual words were, "I don't know why I answered the phone, I can't possibly talk right now. Please call back and leave a message."  So I did. And I waited for a return call.  Now, I don't know about anyone else, but the idea of cold calling a therapist to ask them for their time is already a little nerve wracking.  So, going about my day, I extra didn't think about it, and had a day. Then, at 5pm, I get another call.

 "Hi, I'm looking for Toni."
"Yes, this is she. May I help you?"
"Oh ,yes, um, this is Dr. [name]. What are you looking for?"
"Um, I called to start a relationship with a therapist to discuss my anxiety and stress issues."
"Great. What's your schedule?"
"Do you mean my schedule for appointments or my timeline for completetion or-"
"When can you make appointments?"
 "Oh, I'd be available [info about my flexibility]."
 "Great, and [insurance question. Major focuses question. Primary goals question. Previous therapy experiences question.] I answer them all.
LONGEST PAUSE EVER (probably measuring all of 2 seconds).
"I've got a few clients finishing up I think, and a few returning, so I don't think I've got time for you right now. I want you to get the support that you need, so look for someone else."
"...Okay, at what point should I call you back if I don't find anyone else that is suitable?"
"Oh, um, in two weeks I should have a better idea?"
"Okay, thank you."
DIALTONE.

Seriously, weirdest moment. Like, have a better bedside (or phone) manner than that if you're a therapist. This feels like my last person, who fell asleep in our last session after her painkillers from her plastic surgery (her very very obvious plastic surgery) caused too much drowsiness. So, back to square "find people to call".

More thoughts:

Dizzy and itchy, with a side of need to be out of the office. Called out of rehearsal due to dizziness, so headed home to craft/clean/sleep off this dizzy. 

Weird day.

Today, I do my best to make it all look easy... it's just another day.

Horoscope:
A meeting or informal discussion at work will reveal a real problem with how people are communicating- or rather, miscommunicating. Before mid-day, it will become all too clear that people are not using the same terms to discuss the central issue. A translator is needed- and you are the likely nominee.  Good thing you are so knowledgeable when it comes to how things should work! You can be the voice of reason in this situation. You'll be a calming influence in the room. Get ready to be the hero.

Thoughts:
Days that are set up like today are big flags in my spirit.  Got up easily, got fiancee to work on time, found out my federal rebate is already in my account, making rent and bills easy this month.  Going to be "officially" 2 hours early for work, work a light day (catching up), do a noon tour, out the door by 230 for my appointment to pick up my wedding dress and catch up with my cousin. Finances meeting, dinner, maybe clean the apartment and/or do crafts.

Seems simple, right?  Lots of little items, nothing day sucking. Busy, but doable.

Except I know that's a lie.

Noon tour will be difficult. It will run over, be frustrating, and make me question my abilities at the office.  I will also spend the day clearing up some confusion between my supervisor and a new colleague- I don't need my horoscope to tell me that, I knew it by c.o.b. yesterday. I also won't "catch up" or even accomplish my primary goals of the day at the office, and will want to stay later to accomplish "things." I'll think more than 3 times about the frustration of working my maximum number of hours and still being incapable of making ends meet, due to my current hourly being un-raisable, thanks to college policy.

But picking up my dress will be fabulous.  Unless the shoes that arrived last night really don't work with the dress, then I will overthink the entire thing, down to "maybe I should have gone with the Grace Kelly option..."  But my cousin will love it, and I'll be buoyed, and calmness will be mine.

And then I'll have to stay calm and polite through my finance meeting, where I'm likely to think mean and panicky things. But the information will be good to have, and the meeting is much needed.

Frazzled, I will attempt to make dinner, but wind up breaking down or anxiousing (a new verb) myself to pieces, and will either beg my lady to make dinner, or will eat cookies. I'll then want to take a walk, because I ate cookies and I'm trying to take 30 lbs off.  I won't take the walk, instead opting to stare around my tiny apartment getting more and more trapped in thoughts of hatred towards the tiny tiny space, which my fiancee will mistake for feelings of resentment towards her.  I'll put in a netflix dvd, fall asleep, and repeat the process with few variations tomorrow.

And yet, I can't get myself to call the therapist I want to talk to, because I'm too busy to fit in appointments.

And unless a person reads this, they have no idea that this is my normal day.

Making it all look easy since 1992.

Stuck in my head:
Next to Normal

Play list for the day:
Next to Normal, angsty 90s rock

Goals:
Actually call therapist.
Maybe do a set of crunches.
Get through one thing without anxiety or resentment.

(Overall goals for this blog explained because for whatever reason I feel the need to explain it)

My goal is to update on a rather regular basis, alternating between the "today" format I've already posted and short "thoughts" pieces. Todays will be unfocused thought of the moments with a horoscope post; Thoughts will be more cohesive edited pieces about theatre, the arts as an institution, society, food, wedding planning, tv & film, crafting, "growing up," and whatever else moves me at the time.

I'm using this as an opportunity to write again. In my time post college, I've found my mind hunting for opportunities to stretch.  And while I create words on pages all the time, none of them need me to think too much in my day to day life.  I miss that aspect of academia, and here, I get to set my own deadlines!

This will be slow going at the start- I'm still getting my feet under me. I hope those of you that stick around enjoy what comes in the future.  If you have suggestions for topics you'd like to see me expound/rant on, throw a note my way.

Let's go on this adventure together.

Today, I say, walk on the grass- it was meant to feel!

My horoscope:

As selfish as it might sound, you need to put yourself first, today. You have been putting the needs of other people ahead of your own priorities for far too long, and it's high time for you to get yourself back at the top of your list. You have accumulated far more karma points than you could ever use, so why keep racking them up?  Take a break today. Do something nice for yourself, because you are your favorite person. You don't have to earn this attention.

What I'm doing:
Walking to work, actually accomplishing something at the "day gig", going to pick my wedding dress (!), coming home and crafting.

What would be better:
It could be 8am and I could be walking farther before work, instead of needing to fast pace commute.

What would be worse:
It could be rainy and gross out. There could be mice in my office again today (here's hoping NOT!)

Goals:
Pick a dress!
Complete a piece I'm proud of, not quantity.

Today, love will steer the stars

 My horoscope today:

You are in a better place than you ever been in terms of your ambition. It's healthy, it's smart, and today, it's going to show you where you need to point your energies next. So if you suddenly get an urge to climb Mt. Everest, invent a cure for the common cold, learn a new language, or do something equally ambitious (like clean out all your closets), don't be surprised! This is a day where you will get your greatest satisfaction out of doing something that no one else really thought you could do.

Stuck in my head today:
"Aquarius", particularly (and over and over) "and lo-ove will steer the stars!"

What I'm doing:
Sitting at work on my lunch break, feelings of *overwhelmed / too much to do on the to-do list / how can it be March already* from pre-spring break already filling the office again. Crafting, cleaning, Costco run after work.

What I'd rather be doing:
Calmly accomplishing as much as I can before 4 pm, impressing my supervisor with my newfound functionality, walking home from work in this gorgeous weather, cooking dinner, crafting at a table, and going to sleep at a reasonable hour.

Goals:
Find a show to work on that I'm thrilled about. Ideally, directing or sewing. I need a break from SM reality.
Actually work out, eat well, and move forward on this "progress" thing.
Feel rested and well.