Horoscope:
A meeting or informal discussion at work will reveal a real problem with how people are communicating- or rather, miscommunicating. Before mid-day, it will become all too clear that people are not using the same terms to discuss the central issue. A translator is needed- and you are the likely nominee. Good thing you are so knowledgeable when it comes to how things should work! You can be the voice of reason in this situation. You'll be a calming influence in the room. Get ready to be the hero.
Thoughts:
Days that are set up like today are big flags in my spirit. Got up easily, got fiancee to work on time, found out my federal rebate is already in my account, making rent and bills easy this month. Going to be "officially" 2 hours early for work, work a light day (catching up), do a noon tour, out the door by 230 for my appointment to pick up my wedding dress and catch up with my cousin. Finances meeting, dinner, maybe clean the apartment and/or do crafts.
Seems simple, right? Lots of little items, nothing day sucking. Busy, but doable.
Except I know that's a lie.
Noon tour will be difficult. It will run over, be frustrating, and make me question my abilities at the office. I will also spend the day clearing up some confusion between my supervisor and a new colleague- I don't need my horoscope to tell me that, I knew it by c.o.b. yesterday. I also won't "catch up" or even accomplish my primary goals of the day at the office, and will want to stay later to accomplish "things." I'll think more than 3 times about the frustration of working my maximum number of hours and still being incapable of making ends meet, due to my current hourly being un-raisable, thanks to college policy.
But picking up my dress will be fabulous. Unless the shoes that arrived last night really don't work with the dress, then I will overthink the entire thing, down to "maybe I should have gone with the Grace Kelly option..." But my cousin will love it, and I'll be buoyed, and calmness will be mine.
And then I'll have to stay calm and polite through my finance meeting, where I'm likely to think mean and panicky things. But the information will be good to have, and the meeting is much needed.
Frazzled, I will attempt to make dinner, but wind up breaking down or anxiousing (a new verb) myself to pieces, and will either beg my lady to make dinner, or will eat cookies. I'll then want to take a walk, because I ate cookies and I'm trying to take 30 lbs off. I won't take the walk, instead opting to stare around my tiny apartment getting more and more trapped in thoughts of hatred towards the tiny tiny space, which my fiancee will mistake for feelings of resentment towards her. I'll put in a netflix dvd, fall asleep, and repeat the process with few variations tomorrow.
And yet, I can't get myself to call the therapist I want to talk to, because I'm too busy to fit in appointments.
And unless a person reads this, they have no idea that this is my normal day.
Making it all look easy since 1992.
Stuck in my head:
Next to Normal
Play list for the day:
Next to Normal, angsty 90s rock
Goals:
Actually call therapist.
Maybe do a set of crunches.
Get through one thing without anxiety or resentment.
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